Tag Archives: the not-so-shiny

The Strugglebus is Real

Every so often I’ll come across a section of a book that will stop me and I’ll have to read it 100 times to think about how I can properly get this point across to entrepreneurs as they struggle to build a business.

I’m knee-deep in my January book list and I’m loving what I’ve read so far. Right now, I’m reading a book that you’re going to have to open your mind to be able to read. If you aren’t about an F-Bomb, this book is likely not for you. Personally, I sometimes think that a cuss word or two (or 100) makes me pay a little more attention to the words because it’s not what most would consider “professional”…or so I’ve been told.

I’m reading a book called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life by Mark Manson. Again, I warned you about the cusses. There are lots of them but if you can be okay with them, you’re going to learn something here and you’ll probably laugh along the way.

subtle-art-of-not-giving-a-fuck-540x709

There’s this common issue I find among entrepreneurs and that is how hard they try to stay off of the strugglebus.  I mean, they’ll really work at it, sometimes harder than just buckling down and doing what needs to be done. Then that doesn’t work out (because SPOILER ALERT: the struggle bus is the only route to entrepreneurial success) and they complain. And when that doesn’t move their business forward, well, that’s when they quit. I see it all the time. Quitters everywhere because the struggle wasn’t worth the reward.

How many times have you heard, “My business isn’t growing like INSERT NAME HERE” or “This is just not fast enough” or “I thought it would be faster” or “This just isn’t for me” from someone struggling to grow their business?

I hear it A LOT. It’s a resounding message in the emails I get asking for advice. It’s frustrating because there isn’t much I can say back to that person except to start rattling off things they haven’t tried before. At best, that holds them over until those things don’t work fast enough either.

You know what that is? It’s entitlement. It’s entitlement disguised as frustration.

Simply put, entitlement is believing that you deserve happiness and that you shouldn’t have to struggle to get it.

Here’s the thing, nobody gets a struggle-free ride, even if the people you’re wrongly comparing yourself to (hand slap) have social media feeds that are lying to you about their perfect lives. And guess what? We don’t deserve a a struggle-free ride either. We deserve nothing. We are entitled to nothing.

Entrepreneurship is a struggle. Every day. Even if you grow fast, it’s still a struggle. The struggles are just a little different. We ALL have to pay our dues. At one point or another, we all have to learn the lessons about how to reach people and how to connect with our customers in a way that helps our businesses grow. Most people aren’t innately and divinely born with that knowledge.

We need to embrace the amount of time it takes us to make our business our success story. There’s no boss to fire you. You can choose to not fail (which is great for anyone who is afraid of failure). For some of us, our ride on the strugglebus for this particular journey is going to be shorter because we likely have a long list of failures, misses, dead-wrongs, and growth opportunities in our past. We already saw that struggle though at one point which makes this one seem like a shorter ride.

What I want you to understand is that hard is required to own your own business. Nothing worth having is easy. We don’t need to be frustrated that it’s hard and it takes a long time. I want us to be thankful for it. The harder it is, the more we’re learning and that’s going to give us a shortcut down the line. I want us to be like Lieutenant Dan strapped to the top of that shrimp boat yelling at the storm to “bring it!” We need to own the struggle  because it’s required.

Your attitude about having the get on board the strugglebus is what determines your fate because you can’t get ANYWHERE without it. It’s the only ride to business success. Might as well choose a seat.

Lean into the struggle this week. Own it as part of your job rather than be frustrated because it’s holding you back. The sooner you accept it the sooner you grow.

Have an amazing, difficult week!

Lindsay Teague Moreno

I Believe in You

This weekend I got an email that shook me a little. It was an email from someone I don’t know telling me she appreciated everything I did for her but that she had to quit her business because she wasn’t growing. (I’ll add to the end of that statement “as fast as she thinks she should.”) She gave up on herself and a completely different life because it was hard. I’ll be honest, most people don’t have the guts to tell someone whose business philosophy is “refuse to fail” that they’re giving up so this is new for me.

Anyway, at first I wondered if she wanted me to try to save her. Sometimes people just want to know they matter and that they’re worth saving. Then I got a little offended because everything I teach is on the basis of refusing to fail at something, so it’s frustrating to get “I quit” messages. If you run a business, I’m sure you’ve felt the same at some point. By “offended” i just mean frustrated.

Today we had an issue with our basement getting finished and our contractor said something to the effect of, “hard work isn’t something this industry is drowning in, which I’m thankful for because that means more for us.” I wanted to slow clap him right to his face (which, obviously would have been weird but still).

More for us.

I thought as he said that, “YES!” In any business or venture you must come to a place where only the strong are going to survive. You must. As painful as it is, if you don’t have to work for it, it just won’t survive. Doing something great requires greatness within. That’s not handed out for free. I wish it was but it just isn’t. Some people are going to sabotage their success for whatever reason, that’s not your choice to make, it’s only theirs. You can only control you.

As I was working through what to do with this email, I thought back to something I hold very close when I see people starting to cut and run. It goes something like this:

Our greatest opportunity is when everyone else is quitting.

And to that I say amen.

Your opportunity is now, friends. Right now. Don’t freak out when people weed themselves out of your business. It might seem a little scary but think of it in terms of opportunity. More for you. Your opportunity just grew because your competition is literally bowing out of the ring for you. “Thankyouverymuch, i’ll take that. Oh, you don’t want that? Sure, I’ll run with that.” I’m staying because I’m emotionally connected to the potential. I can’t walk away because it means walking away from everything I want for my kids and the example I want to be for them. If they’re going to stick out the hard stuff, they need to see me go first. Amazing, that’s what my team needs from me as a leader, as well. I go first.

As any industry gains popularity and traction (as mine, the Essential Oils industry is), you’re going to see a bunch of companies get in the game causing some market saturation. What you’re also going to see is a lot of people who quit when success isn’t served on a silver platter. Spoiler alert, silver platters rarely exist in real life, so chances are, you’re going to have to grind out the success in your business if you want to see it. If your product is solid and you get creative, your company can survive.

Hey ladies, I believe in you. As I thought a little bit more about that email, I started to write a saving reply to her and then thought again. It’s not my job to try to make someone change their mind (that’s a talk she needs to have with the person she has a relationship with). It’s up to me to equip you guys with as much information as I can and prepare you for what may be coming down your road so you’re prepared when “just quit” becomes an option you entertain.

What’s coming down your road is more people giving up than sticking it out. What’s coming down your road is a lifetime of watching people give up on the thing that can buy their freedom despite you wanting it so badly for them. We can only make the decision to try for ourselves. Remember that as you grind it out until you get there.

I believe in you guys. Every last one of you. Here’s a little encouragement for you:

Don't QUIT

Don’t quit,

Lindsay Teague Moreno

I Was Just Me…

Michael and I just ran a marathon over the last 5 months.

We started traveling in mid-march and I kid you not, tomorrow will be the first week I will not have to leave my house since. You think you love traveling until you find yourself scared to death to fly and someone throws in 2 unexpected moves in the middle of your jam-packed schedule. NOT. MY. BEST. MOMENTS.

Let me just reiterate the most important part of this whole thing. I just traveled for 5 months straight and I am terrified to fly. Not just like, I’m scared. Like, I cry like I am facing certain death. Sweaty palms, my heart beating so loud you can hear it all the way in the tiny, tiny toilet stall, tears uncontrollably streaming down my face, shaking. I am awesome on a plane. Imagine how excited Mr. Moreno is to jump on a flight with me. Poor dude. 36 flights. I’m doing it anyway. Working seriously hard to get through it. In the last 5 months Mr. Moreno and I have seriously hustled our butts off. Flying all over the world. Not a ton of working on the computer; a bunch of working with people.

I have seen thousands of the people I work with online since March. It’s been totally worth it. I let the blog take the back seat, I let a lot of work stuff take a back seat, I even let time with my kids take a back seat. I learned about how big this business is getting; how many people it is touching. I learned how to spread out the work. I learned how to work though some hard stuff with my husband as we hit a rough few weeks though the stress and constant business.

If you don’t know my background, a little over 2 years ago, I founded a team of Young Living members called The Lemon Droppers. It has grown fast and furious and I’ve spent most of my time sitting in front of a computer creating and teaching and typing. You wanna know a secret? I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m learning absolutely everything about my job as I go. I have experience but not to this extent. I just have to trust my instincts and do what I think is best for my peeps. I’m making plenty of mistakes and I’m doing something right, it seems. This last 6 months my focus was people. Seeing people. Hugging people. Connecting with people. Being who I genuinely am and letting people see that. The good and the bad. I’m not covering up the blemishes; people learn from that. They connect to me by relating to the rough stuff. They’ve been there too.

Lindsay Teague Moreno | Young Living | The Lemon Droppers

I don’t know what it is that you do but with this lesson, I don’t think it matters. It’s applicable to absolutely every interaction you have with another human. Are you being truly vulnerable? Are you showing people who you are? Are you being genuinely you? Are you too afraid to let people see the chinks in your armor? Are you pretending? I’m so tired of trying to build relationships with people that are pretending. I’m so tired of this idea that to lead someone you have to be practically perfect; you have to know it all. It’s false. This past 5 months, I was just me and I brought to the table only what I have and it was amazing. As someone who prefers small groups of close friends, I have grown so much through it.

Being with my people has been amazing. I’m ready for some time with my family at home before we go into the fall and hit up 3 cities for the FUEL Life on Fire tour. I’m ready to be back to blogging and creating and thinking into the future. It’s time to get back to my regularly scheduled programming.

Lindsay Teague Moreno

Normal is Bliss

You know, sometimes your life just goes off the rails. You move into something you’re passionate about, you find your spark, you are forced to really buckle down on something for a bit and you lose the person you were before, for a short while. I have noticed this kind of thing play out a few times in my life:
-During a breakup with an ex-boyfriend
-During my master’s program
-After my mom died
-When I took a big corporate gig
-When I was pregnant with my twins

I found myself in a “twist” in the plot of my life; a nice little curve ball that I wasn’t expecting. We become a chameleon for a bit, adapting to our situation and, I believe, just trying to survive until we can get back to who we are, what we love to do, the relationships we let slip on the priorities list.

Have you been here?

Welcome to my life since March 25, 2013. I let absolutely everything go for the last 2 years to create something out of a business that I believe God opened a one-way door into. I was at the point where my only choice was yes. When I say I let everything go, I mean it. Friends, family, health (outside of my oils, thank God), faith, my hobbies, the things I love to do, my obligations, even my kids…it was a life fire sale. “Everything must go!” I spent all hours on work. Building, striving, struggling, winning, losing, growing, learning, teaching, creating, thinking, dreaming…

All of those things were the opportunity cost of my work hours. I gave it all up willingly for a short term to earn the freedom to have all the time I want for those things in the future and you know what? I LOVED it. I found my passion wasn’t just in creating, it was in teaching women leadership. I wouldn’t have ever learned that without the work. Two years and I just knew this whole thing would work. I don’t know how, I just did. It was supernatural. There was a peace in me about saying to Michael, “just give me two years.” I knew it would be a 2-year process. Supernatural. I knew we were going to see massive success. Supernatural. I knew it would set our family up for a completely different normal when we came out of the other end. Supernatural. I am keeping good on my promise. God is keeping good on his promise. I like to think we’re high-fiving on this one.

To everything there is a purpose.

This is the first time I’m consciously making the effort to take a giant step back from something that is going so right. You guys, it is going so right. Sometimes I just stare at Michael in disbelief at how right it is. At the same time, if I want all to be right in the world again, it’s time to scale back on work and focus on the things I made a complete mess of in the process of building a business…or four. The biggest mess? Me. I made a complete cluster out of myself. It’s time to fix me.

This weekend I posted this instagram and it sparked this post.

I figured many of you can relate to those seasons in life where things just change for a little bit and you have to get back to that person that you are in your core. It’s a season, and you know what? I think seasons are awesome. We always come out changed. We have learned something new. We have new wisdom. We’re better for them. Even the really shitty stuff. The stuff that you think is going to break you. You’re better for it. You have to be thankful for it. By far the hardest thing I’ve learned through a season is being thankful through grief, but I am because I’m better for it. The broken parts of my heart heal but they leave a permanent mark. You know, it’s the scars that remind me of the bliss; the normal, average, everyday bliss. It’s time to snuggle up into that bliss of completely normal. It’s time to have a Saturday where I’m bored. It’s time to get back to me.

Tell me about the seasons in your life in the comments.

Lindsay Teague Moreno

February Book Club: DARING GREATLY

It is not the critic who counts | Daring Greatly Book Review | Lindsay Teague Moreno

This year, I have decided to be intentional about a few things and one of them is taking the time to read more. I love reading and I believe it’s GOT to be a part of your life if you want to be a leader who grows as your business does. Leaders are readers.

So, last month we read a book that was both extremely challenging and amazing. It was a month of deep introspection and being honest with myself.  We read Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.

Daring Greatly | Lindsay Teague Moreno Book Club

I wanted to start the year off with a little bit of breaking down so we could build back bigger, better, badder than ever. There were a couple thousand who took on the challenge to read this book with me. Just let that number sink in for a minute. A couple thousand people opened up and got real with themselves about a very hard topic. Together we walked through the book and were honest about our own shame.

Have you guys seen Brene’s TED talk? You MUST spend 17 minutes watching this:

If you breathe oxygen and are living, you should read this book. Michael is reading it now so we can walk through it together. We all carry shame around. I’m working toward shame resilience. As my business gets bigger there are more people that don’t like me for it but, as I learned, even worse, is that there are more that love me for it. It’s so easy to be completely destroyed by the worth that we attach to what we create.

One of the weeks in our discussion, I was particularly nervous about posting my answers, I think because it’s about things that make me nervous to say out loud and I was saying it to a group that I am a leader of. I did post them and got A LOT of messages shocked that I might feel the same way they do at times. Many thanks for being normal. So I decided to share them here as well. I hope you’ll read without judgement. These are obviously from a business point of view but these would apply to any part of our lives:


Q: How w
ould your life look different if you no longer evaluated your worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands?
A: I’d sure be a lot more content with what I have been able to achieve. For some reason, the stands shout at me that it’s not good enough and someone else is always better.


Q: Who are the people who are with you in the arena?
A: My husband is always standing shoulder to shoulder with me and my friends are back to back. I have a group of about 4 friends that are extensions of me. They’d stand next to me and fight to the death even if they knew I was wrong. In business I have a group of leaders that I am so blessed with. they stand in a big circle with me in the middle of the arena. Always there to stand up, give me constructive criticism with love, willing to have my back, willing to say what they do behind my back to my face. You need that in your business. Seek that out.


Q: Who are the folks that you most often picture in the stands?
A:
-My mom (which is nuts because y’all I LOVE and miss my mom like crazy). She was just critical of me like she was of herself. 

-A person that used to be a friend and more than once used, abandoned and hurt me for their own gain under the guise of good and God.
-Every person who has written something hurtful to me or called a name in a message or email without knowing me at all. I’m going to be honest this part of the stands is becoming a packed house.
-The critical YL members that have been in business for longer than me.
-Me.


Q: I’m often my harshest critic. I see myself in the stands criticizing and judging. Are you in the stands?
A: OH HELL TO THE YES! I’m the loudest person on my feet yelling and pointing.


Q: Have you ever attached your self-worth to how something of yours was received?
A: Every single day. EVERY SINGLE DAY. My entire worth is attached to the Lemon Droppers right now.  It happened overnight. One day I was a crafty, photography mom and the next I was running a multi-million dollar producing business. It became me. I became it. Stepping back into that person that works normal hours and has normal conversations with friends is scary. Do people like that original person?


Q: How did that affect your ability to share it with others and navigate the reaction of others?
A: It makes me defensive, it makes my heart hurt at the harsh criticism I receive. It makes me feel alone to be the one to stand and take the abuse that comes our way. It’s so false. It makes me scared to be the one that goes first and takes all the blame. The way people feel about my character is up to them and it’s not up to me to change their minds. I know in my heart, my friends know, my family knows and God knows my values and they all know I’m doing the best I can with what I know. In theory, that’s all that matters, but I have those ridiculous, horrible emails and messages memorized.
“your values are money and mine are people and God.” 

“my business will fail now because you’re doing this.”
“you’re clearly just lucky”
“the lemon droppers have everything handed to them”
“you’re not what you pretend to be”
“you don’t deserve this”

The list goes on…I get at least 20x the positive messages as I do the hurtful ones but I remember the hurtful ones. I immediately puff up and get mad for all the work I’ve done to be cut down by another grown adult and then those words just swirl around each time it’s time to make another hard decision or step out with a new idea.


Q: How does this quote make you feel about your business?

Daring Greatly Quote: In simple terms, if they love it, you're worthy, if they don't , you're worthless?

Do you attach your self worth to the way people receive your love of essential oils and your business?
A: I don’t much worry about how other people receive my love of oils. I am in love with them and I want everyone to know. If my lifestyle and healthcare isn’t for everyone, I am 100% okay with it. Pressuring is the fastest way to end a relationship.  If they don’t want it, I have NO problem never talking to them about it. On the business end? Well, that’s a different story. Those people depend on me to help them see success. Much of my actions during my working (and let’s be honest non-working) hours are because I don’t want to let people down or disappoint them. I will continue to do more, more, more because people ask me and I know a “no, I can’t” will equal a really nasty email or a blame for their failing business. I have to stop. My work hours would be a lot happier and more productive for the whole group if I didn’t evaluate my worthiness by the reaction of those that don’t actually know and love me. What if I didn’t take on the responsibility if someone used me as an excuse for their business not taking off? I’d have saved a lot of money, heartache and time this year. 


Q: What are your “gremlins,” and what do they say to you to prevent you from moving forward?
A: My biggest gremlin is “you’re not good enough to make a mark on this world, this industry, these people or this business”. I also deal with “who are you to get people to follow you? You’re not that good” and “someone right behind you is nipping at your heels and will render you useless.”

They say: 

“If you don’t do this another leader will and they will talk badly about you and your leadership just like that other person does.”

“If you don’t do more and better, you’ll be letting thousands of people down who depend on you and need you.”

“If you don’t say yes, they won’t respect you as a leader.”

“If you don’t say yes now, they’ll stop following you and your business will blow up.”

“If you confront that person, you’ll have a split in your business.”

“If you aren’t the most successful of all, you’re not successful at all.” 

“If you’re not the best, you might as well be the worst.”

“If you make any changes, your business will blow up.”

“If you don’t hold it together at home and show them constant attention and show your work constant attention, they’ll all resent you down the road.”

You know what? I am not, nor will I ever be a victim of what people say about me. I have people in my life (family and amazing friends) who love me. I belong to them and they belong to me. You cannot buy that. I am so blessed. I owe so much to my people that I can never repay.

We all have our crap. We do. None of us are 100% shame resilient. We are working on it. I continue moving forward. I’m tough and I can do hard things. So can you.

5 Star Book Review | Daring GreatlyThis book gets FIVE STARS from me. You gotta read it.

Lindsay Teague Moreno

 

Intentionally 2015 (read: I’m baaaaack)

In January, I decided I was going to take this year to do a few things very intentionally after working pretty much straight through for the last two years. Abstract stain watercolors

In 2015, I decided I needed to pick a word, I needed to set some intentions and I needed to stick to it. Thank you, Ali Edwards, for making things I can’t resist and sharing your ideas.

This year, I’m coming up on my 2-year-agreement with M. Let me back up a bit here. Almost 2 years ago (on March 25th), Michael and I were having a “discussion” (read: big huge argument) about my working all of the sudden after having sacrificed so much to land him his (at the time) dream job. We had both worked really hard to get him where he was and here I was ripping out the pages of the story we had told ourselves about the life we were going to have. After all either of us could say was said, I asked him, as the man I love and the person that loves me unconditionally to give me two years. “Give me two years to see what I can do with this. If it’s not ‘something’ in two years, I’ll walk away. I need you to let me do this.” Of course, being the man of pure gold that he is, he agreed. That was the day we were done fighting about it.

You better believe I laced up my shoes and started sprinting. I am coming up on two years of the hustle and I am literally almost breathless. My business is on FIRE; I mean it’s a raging forest fire, but I am out of breath. I had to fight off people that I believed wanted the best for me and instead wanted to use me and hurt me. I had learn to drown out the noise of those who wanted to tear me down with words and hurtful actions. I had to struggle with those who wanted to change the direction I knew I should be going. It has been a two year battle; the most amazing, rewarding, hard-fought battle of my life. I have sacrificed having other priorities, including my family. I have sacrificed all semblance of simplicity of life. I have sacrificed play. I have sacrificed focus.  I have been successful but I am tired of the criticism, it’s not supposed to hurt coming from people that don’t know and love me but it does. You know where I believe all of it stems from? A false sense scarcity and unneeded competition.

criticism quote

It’s important that I stick to my word with M. I told him two years and I meant it. So, I’m preparing to put plans in motion so I can keep good on the promises I made. I’m not quitting, let me just say that straight out. I’m not, but I can’t keep up with the amount of people that need me. I have to have a plan to be able to enjoy my life and enjoy my work, which I do. I love my work. I am so passionate about what I do. This is something that is so so hard to do. I’ll never walk away. It’s a part of me like my arms and legs are a part of me. The Lemon Droppers are an extension of me. I just need to get more organized and I need to make room for the new! I’m going to be totally honest with you, this  makes me worried about the fallout I’ll get from the 20,000 + people that depend on me. It makes me worry that I’m letting others down. You know who I’m really letting down? My circle. My family, my friends and myself. Each time I choose someone else that I don’t know ahead of them I feel shame and I know I show them with my actions that they don’t mean as much to me as someone on the other side of my computer.

this matters Lindsay Teague Moreno Blog

In order to help me keep good on my intentions, I’ve decided to blog again. I am going to make it a priority. I’ve decided to do Project Life because I love it and it’s important to me that my kids have it. I have decided to write more because it’s a great way for me to help and teach others. I want to help others. I want to teach and mentor others, I just have to have time to do it. Right now I feel like I’m not doing anything with perfection. There are tiny chinks in everything and the people that end up sacrificing? My husband and kids. My people get more time than they do and that ain’t right.

This year I will:

REEVALUATE MY PRIORITIES
STRIVE FOR SIMPLICITY
WORK HARD | PLAY HARD
FOCUS ON ONE THING
ACT WITH VALOR

Starting this blog and making this post is valiant for me. Am I ready to be open on the web like this still? Yes, I am. Am I ready to commit to this? Yes, I am. Am I going to make this blog kick ass? Yes, I am.

Welcome to LindsayTeagueMoreno.com. I hope you like it here. Throughout the coming month, I’ll try to fill up this blog with some of the best posts from my old blog before I shut that one down for good. I’ll be writing on business, scrapbooking, photography and my life. I hope you’ll follow along.

Lindsay Teague Moreno

Starting Over

Take a good look at these photos.

Lindsay Teague Moreno 5 Generations
look how cute my grandma and great grandma are in this photo staring at me when we’re trying to take a group photo. Awww, they loved me (first grandbaby, great grandbaby and great great grandbaby…that’s a special thing).

 

Lindsay Teague Moreno 5 Generations

There are a few things you should know about them (besides the affinity my family had for the “wild west” motif, complete with shotgun mounted above the fireplace…you know how we roll):

a) you’re looking at 5 generations. That’s me as the youngest and my great great grandma (Mama Gee we called her) in the center. Pretty rare.

b) apparently a shirt with overalls is not required in 1985, who knew?

c) I remember taking that photo on the bottom and have quite a few memories of Mama Gee and even more of my great grandma (Pompoonzie we called her…don’t ask, my mom made it up when she was little) and my Grandma (Gram) and, of course, my mom.

d) My Gram died this weekend and I am the last one remaining of these women. I am really having a hard time wrapping my head around this fact. How can that be?

e) The next time we have the opportunity to take a photo like this I will be the oldest one in it and not the youngest. My girls and I are starting over where generations are concerned.

I’m sad and I miss these women. My Gram was sick for a long time and she stayed around much, much longer than most of us thought she would but it’s still so sad to say goodbye. The last time I saw Gram was in August. We took a walk together, we talked, I showed her pictures, we talked about Mom and Poppy (she thought maybe Mom and Poppy were playing golf together that morning). She was having some rare “old Gram” moments at that time. She told me she loved me so much and that I was a “good girl.” She told me she was so happy I came to see her and she got up early and dressed up for me to come see her the next day. I had a very similar happy goodbye time with my grandpa that went before her in 2005. I’m so grateful for these times to remember and hold in my heart.

4 Generations
Our updated 4 Generations photo after the girls were born (2009)

 

Lindsay Teague Moreno Vintage
Me with Poppy and Gram in 1980.

My immediate family now consists of only my brothers and I. That is crazy. We were never a large family but I just didn’t see it playing out like this. Sad weekend. I’m half relieved that Gram is finally where she wanted to be and I find myself sad all over again that Mom’s not here to go with me to the funeral and just be with me on this one. I hope that was a great reunion for Mom and her parents.

Lindsay Teague Moreno

31 Things | Joy & 3:35pm

Ali Edwards 31 Things Project

So happy to have this project done. I hope it has inspired you to write down your own stories. Keep an eye out at Big Picture for the second edition of the 31 Things class. I have heard that Ali may be putting one on.

Lindsay Teague Moreno Project Life Becky Higgins

Story 30: 3:35pm | “Feeling Happy”

• kennedy sleeping in her crib (but stirring so i know she’s almost up)
• boston, teagan and i hanging out in the kitchen eating some fresh berries (strawberries, blueberries & blackberries) for snack
• a new cleaning lady has finished cleaning the master bedroom and is onto the front bathroom
• adult Contemporary music playing on the satellite radio feed on the television in the living room
• the girls giggling over the word “butt”
• the smell of a clean house wafting through my house
• the hot afternoon sun pouring through the windows at the back of the house and in the bedroom
• i’m anticipating michael home from work pretty soon after a hard day
• dinner is prepped and ready for the oven (orange chicken, mandarin oranges and baby baked potatoes)
• the girls are finally feeling better after a 2 week battle with colds
• i’m so excited it’s almost the weekend (father’s day weekend)
• i’m feeling happy

Story 31: Joy | “I Don’t Belong Here”

recently, i’ve started to realize that my life seems to be a rollercoaster of emotion. i find that I’m never sitting in the feeling of pure bliss or agonizing heartache for long periods of time. i recover quickly from both to get back to this middle ground. i’m always feeling like there should be something more, like I don’t really belong here.
it’s because i don’t belong here. this is not my home. i’ve tried striving and i’ve tried being lazy. nothing seems to quell the feeling of ill-content. most of the time i just have this lingering feeling like i’m not settled. the feeling that i shouldn’t unpack everything because this isn’t where i should be. i believe this is more than just where i am physically. my place is not on this earth and my heart wants to be where God is. i won’t be filled by anything else on this earth. not my kids. not my husband. not the place that i live. not my posessions.

i know i need to experience the heartache and the joy of this life because it’s God’s plan for me. i’ve always said that it takes experiencing despair to fully understand and appreciate joy. i find that this is reiterated in my relationships and throughout my life. it takes saying the same thing over 31,267 times to revel in the feeling when your children actually learn the lesson you’ve been trying to teach them. it takes the loss of someone so important to fully understand the love you have for those closest to you.

i still have lessons to learn and there is still purpose for my life. that’s why i’m here. there is more heartache to come and there’s also uncomparable joy. 

right now my joy is my family. as long as i have them i can pretty much do anything and make it through any situation. they make me happy every day (even when they drive me crazy). i am blessed by God beyond what words can express. they make my life doable. michael, teagan, boston and kennedy – they are my joy.

Lindsay Teague Moreno