Tag Archives: My Mom

5 Years Sure Does Seem Like a Long Time

5 years ago at about this exact time, Michael got a phone call. He walked out to the sidewalk as I unloaded groceries. I saw him bend down to his knees while he walked and I heard him say “no.” I started to shake knowing something was wrong but not knowing who he was talking about. I knew it was either going to be his grandparents or mine. Someone was gone. How would I console him through this loss with a new baby?

As he walked back to the house he asked me to put the groceries down and go inside. So, I knew it was mine. I asked him what it was as I stood in the living room. Just give me the news. Just tell me and let’s get it over with. He wouldn’t do it. He asked me again to please sit down. On the 3rd time, I complied knowing it wasn’t my grandma, whom I had expected the call about for years.

He looked at me with tear-filled eyes and said something I’ll never in my entire life forget “I’m going to tell you something that’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to tell you.” I knew it was her. “Your mom died today.” Lights Out. Everything is different from this moment on in my life. Everything.

I looked down at myself as I threw whatever it was I was nervously playing with in my hands onto the coffee table. I watched myself put my hands over my face and yell into them. Michael sits motionless across from me trying like hell to keep himself together. I remember asking “what? how? what happened?” My mind went to car accident…of course it did. Just 2 weeks before she had been at my house with me while we brought her 3rd granddaughter, Kennedy, into the world. She was perfectly healthy. She was 53. But it wasn’t a car accident, she was at home.

I remember phone calls…the saddest of which were to my two little brothers. I remember wondering how we were going to get 2 1-year-olds and a newborn to Arizona for a funeral when I’m still recovering from my surgery. I can’t do this, I STILL LOOK PREGNANT! I remember snapping right into work mode, though. Efficient as ever. “I can handle this, I’ll figure it all out and fix it. Right now, I need to feed the baby, we should eat our dinner, we need to get the groceries…” My brain was half shut off. True story. I could feel without feeling. I was it complete and total shock. I could feel myself start to cry throughout the night and yet, for some reason I couldn’t get myself to believe it was true. I had to have logical conversations with myself. “Lindsay, no, you can’t call her to tell her what’s going on, she isn’t there, you already know this.” I couldn’t tell which end was up, really. Foggy almost. Just walking around foggy. I retained my ability to do the things that I HAD to do for the family to survive but I wasn’t in my right mind. It wasn’t until her viewing when I walked into a room and saw her laying on a table and I for some strange reason was shocked to see her there. I knew why we were going but I didn’t expect to really see her. I can’t explain that feeling. That’s when it became real, I think. I saw her and she was gone. There was no part of my mom laying on that table save for a few recognizable physical traits I had known all my life…her hands. I had to see her hands.

It turns out my healthy, works-out-everyday, mom had died of a massive heart attack due to the buildup of scar tissue in her heart from a previous unknown heart attack. She didn’t know it, but looking back, I do. I remember it. I remember everything about that day. She was probably my exact age right now, maybe a year or two younger. I can’t put a finger on my exact age but I was in Junior High, I think, when she told me she couldn’t move and was sitting in her bathroom. She asked me to go get her some medicine from the convenience store and I rode my bike down there to get it.

She was under massive amounts of stress at that time, financial, emotional, relationships, her role as a mother, work…massive. She held it all together, though. Efficient and unfeeling as ever…”I can handle this, I’ll figure it all out and fix it.” Sounds familiar. There’s nothing that can convince me that it didn’t kill her.

mom2

Five years ago in an instant everything was different. I used to think things might go back but they won’t, I’m realizing. Everything is still different. I cry less each year but there’s a big hole where only a mom can go in my soul and I know now that it just won’t be the same. Victory is just a little less sweet. At holidays, there’s just a little less laughter. During the girls events, theres a little less excitement. They don’t know it, but I do.  I think that’s why I’m so afraid to fly right now. I can’t leave this feeling of loss on my kids. For some reason my brain as calculated that a plane crash is the most-likely scenario in which I might not live to see my girls grow up. Totally illogical when you say it out loud, I realize but it boils down to grief, I think.  By far the hardest thing I’ve walked through and my childhood wasn’t a cakewalk. I continue to walk though it. Like wading through thick molasses.

I wonder what would I be doing if she were still here and each time I land on the fact that i probably wouldn’t have had the capacity to do what I’m doing today. It’s through and because of the broken parts of me that I believe almost anything is possible. Not because she didn’t tell me with her example, but because I didn’t know I could do it until she wasn’t there to catch me if I didn’t.

Manifesto

I don’t know if there’s one moment in your life where everything changes. Where you just know you’re going to want something you’ll never be able to have for the rest of your life but it’s a pretty bleak place to live at times. I don’t want to paint you an all black and white picture, here. My life is still in full color. I love my family and I’m so blessed by them. I try to live a life out loud. But every October 21st I think of what could have been and if I’m honest, the way I think it should have been. I can’t say I understand why she’s gone. I hope to know it one day when I get to see her again in Heaven. Until then I’m doing my best. I try to make myself believe that she can see what’s up down here and that she’s excitedly following us though our lives and celebrating with us as good things happen. I just don’t know if I can make myself truly believe that.

Today I remember the woman, mom, grandma (Ninny), entrepreneur, friend, musician and damn good golfer my mom was. Today I remember that grief is the price I pay for knowing great love and being loved fiercely.

I hope you’ll give your mama a call and tell her you love her for no good reason except to have her hear you say it and for you to hear those words back. It’s a sweet, sweet sound.

Lindsay Teague Moreno

Time for a Wardrobe Change

As often as possible I want my wardrobe to be: no pants.

It was not unusual for Michael to come home from work before he started working with me and find me in the same place I was when he left having still not put pants on for the day. Just being honest, I was dedicated to not wearing pants. Heck, it’s still (until last week, of course) not odd to find me at 6:00pm still wearing no pants pounding away on my computer.

As I started to have to venture out of the house to teach or speak or generally be a functioning part of society last year, I found my wardrobe severely lacking in, well, pants and all the things you wear along with them that aren’t a Target Long and Lean Tank Top and Soma Vanishing Edge Panties. I’m a complete sloth and I own it.

Now that I’m trying to get back into a normal life and wear more pants, it’s time I take my wardrobe seriously. I’m not ready to dress like an old lady and I won’t even look at a Forever 21 store so I need something that works for us in-betweeners. Moms that don’t want to dress at Coldwater Creek, amiright? I’m not ready for Talbots. Thankyouverymuch.

My mom introduced me to a line of clothing called CAbi and I loved the clothes. At the time, I was in and out of maternity clothing and then we moved away and I didn’t know anyone that I could buy it from. I started buying it off of eBay but the bad news was that it was used and usually smelled like someone smoked a cigarette on them. Sick. The clothing washes like a dream and nary a stitch out of place in all the years I’ve been wearing their clothes. I took some of my mom’s pieces out of her closet and I still wear them, 5 years later. Their jackets are my happy place because layering. You know me at all, you’ve seen my jean jacket. CAbi.

Moreno Family Beach Photos

I will cry when this thing finally bites the dust. I wear it every week of my life. CAbi is the adult female version of Matilda Jane for little girls. You know it’s going to rock when it shows up. Worth every penny.

My friend Mara (whom I met in the worst place in the world, Reno, but I love dearly), is a CAbi consultant. I hadn’t purchased from her because of my whole first rant about not wearing pants…until now! I went to one of her shows this week when she was here in town and came home with some SWEET LOOT for my travels, classes and all the leaving of the house I’m going to get to do the rest of the year! Best part? I didn’t have to shop all over every store in the freaking mall to find them. One stop and done. Mix and match. It’s like a dream. Here are a few things I got and I’m so happy with them:

Spring 2015 CAbi Haul

Super soft, casual summer jacket. I’m always ALWAYS cold. This was a must. I also snagged the skinny crop jeans in the curvy fit because pear shape.

Spring 2015 CAbi Haul

Skipped the jean shorts because I’m anti-shorts normally (it’s a pear shape thing) but did find a cute pair that are a bit longer. If I had nice legs I would have snapped these up. If you have nice legs. Rock ’em. I did get this blue cable knit tank. SO CUTE and soft. Longer in the back.

Spring 2015 CAbi Haul

See this skirt? REVERSIBLE and you can wear it as a tube top with a little cardigan. Has a million colors on it and the underside is a black and cream print. Yep. Sign me up.

Spring 2015 CAbi Haul

Grabbed me the boyfriend jeans in the curvy fit. They don’t lose their shape after 30 minutes of wearing them but they’re still a stretch feel. Also grabbed that waterfall tank and cardigan with the lace shoulder. Unique purple. Need it.

Spring 2015 CAbi Haul

Oh, I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you over the awesomeness that is leggings with a skirt built in over the top part. It’s too awesome. You’ll have to just talk to me later. Also, that long beachy shirt.

Spring 2015 CAbi Haul

I can’t believe I’m about to say that I’m trying this jump suit. It was so cute on the girls that had it on there, I had to. This is so out of my box it’s crazy, but it was so soft…had to.

Spring 2015 CAbi Haul

I am all over these white skinny’s and the jacket. It’s like a jersey fabric but looks structured. Really flattering on because of the shape. Roll up or slouch the sleeves. Yep. I’m in.

Spring 2015 CAbi Haul

I got this shirt simply because it is one of those classic faux wrap that my mom always wore. It’s one that CAbi brings back over and over. It’s this soft tee shirt material but REALLY flattering on all shapes. Sad to hear coffee not included. Guess I’ll make my own, thanks CAbi.

Spring 2015 CAbi Haul

My favorite piece that I nabbed! This lime green/citrus yellow split back top. SO CUTE! Racerback tank and some jeans? Navy espadrilles? Yea.

Spring 2015 CAbi Haul

Layers. Bring me layers. I got this coat because it’s adorable and you can dress it up an down. Has long pockets so it will fit your cell phone. Let’s be honest, we all care about that.

Spring 2015 CAbi Haul

Got this tank and the sweater. Wasn’t a huge fan of the sweater online but in person it was a big yes. Slouchy and comfy but still cute enough to look like you care that you’re in public…and that you’re wearing pants!

Spring 2015 CAbi Haul

This shirt? It’s a yes. Flannel on the front and a floral pattern on the back.

Spring 2015 CAbi Haul

How about these cute pink jeans with the tan large knit sweater. The sleeves on the sweater are a bit longer, which I love because i don’t like my arms but the body of the sweater is long. It’s pretty much a dream come true. I can’t wait to wear this.

Spring 2015 CAbi Haul

Got this whole get-up because it says, “Hey look, I graduated college, I am a preppy and I probably sail in my free time,” and that’s pretty much what I want my look to communicate to the world. The coat is really more blue in real life but soft as can be.

So, look, I’m not a fan of the time it takes or how I feel when I go to the mall to shop with that size 0 judgy chick that can’t imagine looking at the size 12 or 14’s. I gotta work with what my momma and the good Lord gave me and that’s a large rear end and hips and thighs. It just is. I am my mother’s daughter. I’d still like to find clothes that fit me though and CAbi never disappoints.

If you want, get with my friend Mara and she’ll hook you up with some CAbi goods (www.marariddle.cabionline.com). You can email her as well.

Hope you’re as excited as I am for a spring change in the wardrobe!

Lindsay Teague Moreno

Normal is Bliss

You know, sometimes your life just goes off the rails. You move into something you’re passionate about, you find your spark, you are forced to really buckle down on something for a bit and you lose the person you were before, for a short while. I have noticed this kind of thing play out a few times in my life:
-During a breakup with an ex-boyfriend
-During my master’s program
-After my mom died
-When I took a big corporate gig
-When I was pregnant with my twins

I found myself in a “twist” in the plot of my life; a nice little curve ball that I wasn’t expecting. We become a chameleon for a bit, adapting to our situation and, I believe, just trying to survive until we can get back to who we are, what we love to do, the relationships we let slip on the priorities list.

Have you been here?

Welcome to my life since March 25, 2013. I let absolutely everything go for the last 2 years to create something out of a business that I believe God opened a one-way door into. I was at the point where my only choice was yes. When I say I let everything go, I mean it. Friends, family, health (outside of my oils, thank God), faith, my hobbies, the things I love to do, my obligations, even my kids…it was a life fire sale. “Everything must go!” I spent all hours on work. Building, striving, struggling, winning, losing, growing, learning, teaching, creating, thinking, dreaming…

All of those things were the opportunity cost of my work hours. I gave it all up willingly for a short term to earn the freedom to have all the time I want for those things in the future and you know what? I LOVED it. I found my passion wasn’t just in creating, it was in teaching women leadership. I wouldn’t have ever learned that without the work. Two years and I just knew this whole thing would work. I don’t know how, I just did. It was supernatural. There was a peace in me about saying to Michael, “just give me two years.” I knew it would be a 2-year process. Supernatural. I knew we were going to see massive success. Supernatural. I knew it would set our family up for a completely different normal when we came out of the other end. Supernatural. I am keeping good on my promise. God is keeping good on his promise. I like to think we’re high-fiving on this one.

To everything there is a purpose.

This is the first time I’m consciously making the effort to take a giant step back from something that is going so right. You guys, it is going so right. Sometimes I just stare at Michael in disbelief at how right it is. At the same time, if I want all to be right in the world again, it’s time to scale back on work and focus on the things I made a complete mess of in the process of building a business…or four. The biggest mess? Me. I made a complete cluster out of myself. It’s time to fix me.

This weekend I posted this instagram and it sparked this post.

I figured many of you can relate to those seasons in life where things just change for a little bit and you have to get back to that person that you are in your core. It’s a season, and you know what? I think seasons are awesome. We always come out changed. We have learned something new. We have new wisdom. We’re better for them. Even the really shitty stuff. The stuff that you think is going to break you. You’re better for it. You have to be thankful for it. By far the hardest thing I’ve learned through a season is being thankful through grief, but I am because I’m better for it. The broken parts of my heart heal but they leave a permanent mark. You know, it’s the scars that remind me of the bliss; the normal, average, everyday bliss. It’s time to snuggle up into that bliss of completely normal. It’s time to have a Saturday where I’m bored. It’s time to get back to me.

Tell me about the seasons in your life in the comments.

Lindsay Teague Moreno

February Book Club: DARING GREATLY

It is not the critic who counts | Daring Greatly Book Review | Lindsay Teague Moreno

This year, I have decided to be intentional about a few things and one of them is taking the time to read more. I love reading and I believe it’s GOT to be a part of your life if you want to be a leader who grows as your business does. Leaders are readers.

So, last month we read a book that was both extremely challenging and amazing. It was a month of deep introspection and being honest with myself.  We read Daring Greatly by Brene Brown.

Daring Greatly | Lindsay Teague Moreno Book Club

I wanted to start the year off with a little bit of breaking down so we could build back bigger, better, badder than ever. There were a couple thousand who took on the challenge to read this book with me. Just let that number sink in for a minute. A couple thousand people opened up and got real with themselves about a very hard topic. Together we walked through the book and were honest about our own shame.

Have you guys seen Brene’s TED talk? You MUST spend 17 minutes watching this:

If you breathe oxygen and are living, you should read this book. Michael is reading it now so we can walk through it together. We all carry shame around. I’m working toward shame resilience. As my business gets bigger there are more people that don’t like me for it but, as I learned, even worse, is that there are more that love me for it. It’s so easy to be completely destroyed by the worth that we attach to what we create.

One of the weeks in our discussion, I was particularly nervous about posting my answers, I think because it’s about things that make me nervous to say out loud and I was saying it to a group that I am a leader of. I did post them and got A LOT of messages shocked that I might feel the same way they do at times. Many thanks for being normal. So I decided to share them here as well. I hope you’ll read without judgement. These are obviously from a business point of view but these would apply to any part of our lives:


Q: How w
ould your life look different if you no longer evaluated your worthiness by weighing the reaction of the people in the stands?
A: I’d sure be a lot more content with what I have been able to achieve. For some reason, the stands shout at me that it’s not good enough and someone else is always better.


Q: Who are the people who are with you in the arena?
A: My husband is always standing shoulder to shoulder with me and my friends are back to back. I have a group of about 4 friends that are extensions of me. They’d stand next to me and fight to the death even if they knew I was wrong. In business I have a group of leaders that I am so blessed with. they stand in a big circle with me in the middle of the arena. Always there to stand up, give me constructive criticism with love, willing to have my back, willing to say what they do behind my back to my face. You need that in your business. Seek that out.


Q: Who are the folks that you most often picture in the stands?
A:
-My mom (which is nuts because y’all I LOVE and miss my mom like crazy). She was just critical of me like she was of herself. 

-A person that used to be a friend and more than once used, abandoned and hurt me for their own gain under the guise of good and God.
-Every person who has written something hurtful to me or called a name in a message or email without knowing me at all. I’m going to be honest this part of the stands is becoming a packed house.
-The critical YL members that have been in business for longer than me.
-Me.


Q: I’m often my harshest critic. I see myself in the stands criticizing and judging. Are you in the stands?
A: OH HELL TO THE YES! I’m the loudest person on my feet yelling and pointing.


Q: Have you ever attached your self-worth to how something of yours was received?
A: Every single day. EVERY SINGLE DAY. My entire worth is attached to the Lemon Droppers right now.  It happened overnight. One day I was a crafty, photography mom and the next I was running a multi-million dollar producing business. It became me. I became it. Stepping back into that person that works normal hours and has normal conversations with friends is scary. Do people like that original person?


Q: How did that affect your ability to share it with others and navigate the reaction of others?
A: It makes me defensive, it makes my heart hurt at the harsh criticism I receive. It makes me feel alone to be the one to stand and take the abuse that comes our way. It’s so false. It makes me scared to be the one that goes first and takes all the blame. The way people feel about my character is up to them and it’s not up to me to change their minds. I know in my heart, my friends know, my family knows and God knows my values and they all know I’m doing the best I can with what I know. In theory, that’s all that matters, but I have those ridiculous, horrible emails and messages memorized.
“your values are money and mine are people and God.” 

“my business will fail now because you’re doing this.”
“you’re clearly just lucky”
“the lemon droppers have everything handed to them”
“you’re not what you pretend to be”
“you don’t deserve this”

The list goes on…I get at least 20x the positive messages as I do the hurtful ones but I remember the hurtful ones. I immediately puff up and get mad for all the work I’ve done to be cut down by another grown adult and then those words just swirl around each time it’s time to make another hard decision or step out with a new idea.


Q: How does this quote make you feel about your business?

Daring Greatly Quote: In simple terms, if they love it, you're worthy, if they don't , you're worthless?

Do you attach your self worth to the way people receive your love of essential oils and your business?
A: I don’t much worry about how other people receive my love of oils. I am in love with them and I want everyone to know. If my lifestyle and healthcare isn’t for everyone, I am 100% okay with it. Pressuring is the fastest way to end a relationship.  If they don’t want it, I have NO problem never talking to them about it. On the business end? Well, that’s a different story. Those people depend on me to help them see success. Much of my actions during my working (and let’s be honest non-working) hours are because I don’t want to let people down or disappoint them. I will continue to do more, more, more because people ask me and I know a “no, I can’t” will equal a really nasty email or a blame for their failing business. I have to stop. My work hours would be a lot happier and more productive for the whole group if I didn’t evaluate my worthiness by the reaction of those that don’t actually know and love me. What if I didn’t take on the responsibility if someone used me as an excuse for their business not taking off? I’d have saved a lot of money, heartache and time this year. 


Q: What are your “gremlins,” and what do they say to you to prevent you from moving forward?
A: My biggest gremlin is “you’re not good enough to make a mark on this world, this industry, these people or this business”. I also deal with “who are you to get people to follow you? You’re not that good” and “someone right behind you is nipping at your heels and will render you useless.”

They say: 

“If you don’t do this another leader will and they will talk badly about you and your leadership just like that other person does.”

“If you don’t do more and better, you’ll be letting thousands of people down who depend on you and need you.”

“If you don’t say yes, they won’t respect you as a leader.”

“If you don’t say yes now, they’ll stop following you and your business will blow up.”

“If you confront that person, you’ll have a split in your business.”

“If you aren’t the most successful of all, you’re not successful at all.” 

“If you’re not the best, you might as well be the worst.”

“If you make any changes, your business will blow up.”

“If you don’t hold it together at home and show them constant attention and show your work constant attention, they’ll all resent you down the road.”

You know what? I am not, nor will I ever be a victim of what people say about me. I have people in my life (family and amazing friends) who love me. I belong to them and they belong to me. You cannot buy that. I am so blessed. I owe so much to my people that I can never repay.

We all have our crap. We do. None of us are 100% shame resilient. We are working on it. I continue moving forward. I’m tough and I can do hard things. So can you.

5 Star Book Review | Daring GreatlyThis book gets FIVE STARS from me. You gotta read it.

Lindsay Teague Moreno

 

What’s Your Sentence?

As I was laying down getting a little massage this morning to try to rid myself of some of the work stress I’ve been feeling, I started thinking about a little speech I’m giving next week. I was asked to give a 7 minute talk on family. I could pretty much whip up a talk about anything and it would be passable. I’m not super nervous about talking in front of people, it’s just not my greatest strength. The kicker of that sentence is “family.” That’s pretty much the only thing I talk about that I can’t get through without crying like a big baby right there in front of everyone. Doesn’t even matter how big the audience is. I do it in front of one person, I do it in front of 500.

I started to wish they had asked me to talk on business because, honey, I could crush that. That’s my thing. Truth be told, I think I understand my business, marketing, sales and strategy with the best of them. Why didn’t they ask me to talk on that? I never cry when I talk about finding your niche market. I don’t get emotional when I talk about how people are doing direct sales all wrong. I’m righteously indignant about some of the things I “preach” about business because I just know this stuff…but not about family.

I started thinking about where to even begin and how I might make it through this talk (with people that, let’s face it, don’t have a lot of good things to say about me because they believe everything they hear) without looking like a grade schooler. I spent the entire 90 minutes thinking about it. I decided that most of my actions and decisions right now are based on the end of my mom’s life. I started wondering what people might say about me right now if the curtains closed on my life.

Let’s say it’s the end of your life. What is the sentence you want to be said about you? What is your legacy? How would you want to be remembered?

Do you have more than one? Are your actions saying this to people?

Some days my sentence is:
“She pushed the boundaries of possibility by kicking down the doors of what had already been done and paving new paths toward unique  personal significance for women all over the world.”

Some days it’s:
“She taught women that with heart and hustle, anything is possible no matter your background, circumstance, education, or experience.”

Usually it’s:
“She was relentless in her pursuit of really big dreams so her daughters would know she loved her life and that there’s nothing they can’t do.”

Lindsay Teague Moreno kids

I have a lot of work to do and I need to make sure my actions are conveying these sentences. I encourage you to write your sentence. What are you doing here?  What do you want in life? Write it down and keep it close to you. If you feel comfortable write it in the comments below.

I’m going to cry like a baby on that stage next week and you know what…that’s okay. Those 3 are worth it.

Lindsay Teague Moreno

31 Things | Joy & 3:35pm

Ali Edwards 31 Things Project

So happy to have this project done. I hope it has inspired you to write down your own stories. Keep an eye out at Big Picture for the second edition of the 31 Things class. I have heard that Ali may be putting one on.

Lindsay Teague Moreno Project Life Becky Higgins

Story 30: 3:35pm | “Feeling Happy”

• kennedy sleeping in her crib (but stirring so i know she’s almost up)
• boston, teagan and i hanging out in the kitchen eating some fresh berries (strawberries, blueberries & blackberries) for snack
• a new cleaning lady has finished cleaning the master bedroom and is onto the front bathroom
• adult Contemporary music playing on the satellite radio feed on the television in the living room
• the girls giggling over the word “butt”
• the smell of a clean house wafting through my house
• the hot afternoon sun pouring through the windows at the back of the house and in the bedroom
• i’m anticipating michael home from work pretty soon after a hard day
• dinner is prepped and ready for the oven (orange chicken, mandarin oranges and baby baked potatoes)
• the girls are finally feeling better after a 2 week battle with colds
• i’m so excited it’s almost the weekend (father’s day weekend)
• i’m feeling happy

Story 31: Joy | “I Don’t Belong Here”

recently, i’ve started to realize that my life seems to be a rollercoaster of emotion. i find that I’m never sitting in the feeling of pure bliss or agonizing heartache for long periods of time. i recover quickly from both to get back to this middle ground. i’m always feeling like there should be something more, like I don’t really belong here.
it’s because i don’t belong here. this is not my home. i’ve tried striving and i’ve tried being lazy. nothing seems to quell the feeling of ill-content. most of the time i just have this lingering feeling like i’m not settled. the feeling that i shouldn’t unpack everything because this isn’t where i should be. i believe this is more than just where i am physically. my place is not on this earth and my heart wants to be where God is. i won’t be filled by anything else on this earth. not my kids. not my husband. not the place that i live. not my posessions.

i know i need to experience the heartache and the joy of this life because it’s God’s plan for me. i’ve always said that it takes experiencing despair to fully understand and appreciate joy. i find that this is reiterated in my relationships and throughout my life. it takes saying the same thing over 31,267 times to revel in the feeling when your children actually learn the lesson you’ve been trying to teach them. it takes the loss of someone so important to fully understand the love you have for those closest to you.

i still have lessons to learn and there is still purpose for my life. that’s why i’m here. there is more heartache to come and there’s also uncomparable joy. 

right now my joy is my family. as long as i have them i can pretty much do anything and make it through any situation. they make me happy every day (even when they drive me crazy). i am blessed by God beyond what words can express. they make my life doable. michael, teagan, boston and kennedy – they are my joy.

Lindsay Teague Moreno